Ferris. As in Wheel.

Last night my friend L called. A good friend of hers is trying to start a speed dating business, and last night was his first event. Unfortunately, he was two girls short. Fast forward one hour, and I am driving to a midtown bar all cuted up, and L owes me a huge HUGE favor.

There were seven men and seven women, and we all had 6 minutes of conversation, after which you marked on a little card if you were interested in each other. Honestly, can't tell you much about the women - they were all fairly forgetable. The MEN however, yikes.

Now I really tried. It was fairly obvious by looking at them that this particular group of dudes were in dire need of some dating practice. They looked SOOOOO uncomfortable. Now I myself have flirted with and dated a fair number of men, so I'm pretty comfortable with the whole schmoozy chitty chatty thing. I kind of felt like it was my duty to make them feel good about themselves. So, I slapped on my wide-eyed, nodding, Interested In What You're Saying Face, and went to work.

Here are my favorite snippets of conversation:

Me: So what's your name?
Dude: Ferris.
Me: As in Bueller?
Dude: No, as in Wheel.

*****
Me: So what do you do for a living?
Dude: I'm in the French Foreign Legion.
Me: Um, k.
Dude: I'M JOKING!!! I'm a car salesman! I really had you going, didn't I? That line always kills...

*****
Me: Raj, is it? So you JUST moved here from India?

******
Me: So what are you studing in college?
Dude: Computers. I like computers.
Me: Cool. So what do you want to do with that?
Dude: Well, I'd like to work with computers. I really like computers.
Me: Uh huh. What, like programming?
Dude: I don't know. Just computers.
Me and Dude: (silence)

*****
Me: Do you have a big family?
Dude: Do you mean on my mom's side? Or my dad's side?
Me: Um, dad?
Dude: No.
Me: Um, mom?
Dude: No.

*****
Me: So what do you do for fun?
Dude: Well, I really like playing video games. Yeah, that's like my favorite thing to do. I wish it was my job to play video games.

*****
Me: So you're a security guard?
Dude: Yeah.
Me: Awesome!! Do you work nights or days?
Dude: Well, on Sundays I work from 8 in the morning until noon. And on Tuesdays I work......(Robin Zones Out).....but on Fridays I also have to go get my paycheck, so I am actually at work twice that day....(Robin Still Zoned Out).....so basically it depends on the day. (No joke, that little diatribe ate up our ENTIRE SIX MINUTES.)

When it was all over, India and Car Salesman bought me much-needed drinks. I truly feel like I earned them.