So when most people decide to get a new job, it goes something like this: interview, get hired, give notice, maybe have a nice little last-day-of-work lunch, leave.
Not so much here. Mine went like this:
1.
Interview: So I had the first interview I mentioned earlier. That went well. Then, I was asked back for a second interview. I gave notice of my "doctor's appointment" and prepared to go. After running into attorneys at the airport last time, I was much, much smarter. So, I scheduled to fly at weird hours when absolutely no attorney should be at the airport.
2.
Flight: And of course, I ran into FREAKING ANOTHER ATTORNEY at the airport. A jerky one. And he informed me that he fully intended to head straight back to the office and tattle on me. Hell.
3.
The Next Day: My boss, in a very snarky meeting, informed me that he knew I had been interviewing, and while I was not officially fired, he would start interviewing for my replacement and I was encouraged to get out quickly. Super. Have I mentioned that my boss and I have been locked in sort of a passive-agressive hatred for the past year?
4.
The Offer: So thank GOD I actually got the offer. That was a fun day, getting to tell my boss I was (1) leaving, haha; (2) making tons more dough; and (3) going to a kick-ass law firm. I think he was truly shocked, since he thinks I am something less than worthless.
5.
The Notice: I gave a week and a half notice. That was all I could stomach. And I was (somewhat) diligent. I came to work at my regular time, and left around 5:30. Not awful. And I actually was attempting to wrap up my cases. All the while, my boss was secretly planning...
6.
The Preemptive Strike: So I was sitting in my office yesterday at 5:00 when BAM!!! In slipped my boss, shut the door, and freaking FIRED me. Seriously. I only have a week left, and the dude FIRED me. My computer was suddenly locked, and I was given three boxes and the HR guy came and supervised me until I left?! What the hell?
7.
Parting Shots: While I was packing, he also managed to sneak in his opinions that (1) I had somehow tricked my new firm into hiring me, because they are way out of my league; and (2) my boyfriend and I will not survive the long-distance thing, and will break up in the next couple of months. Mmm, ok. Thanks, man. I'll miss you, too.
So, there you have it. He got his moment of Little Man Power, but I get an extra week off, paid. I think I won. HA! So, here I sit at home on a work day, watching the Today show, with no plans other than to go lay by my pool and read a book. I suddenly feel much happier. And I owe it all to my boss. Mazel tov!!